My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
too bad you live with your parents still
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
