how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
