I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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