Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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