how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
