So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
