Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
