I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
