so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Randomize
