toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just tell him i said nine months
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize