The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
