when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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