Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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