You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just pee around me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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