I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
