I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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