capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
