Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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