Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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