I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
