Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
