I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
