The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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