Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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