the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I would fuck him just for his dog
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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