if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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