Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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