I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
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That was an excessively violent trivia night
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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