Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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