i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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