I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
