i permit you to call me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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