she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
