things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
