where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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