My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
