I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
