Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize