So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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