I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
