I think my fart just growled at me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I want a musical about memes.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
