i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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