mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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