White coat. Heels.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Randomize
