I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize