Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
