Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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