I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
