Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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