The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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