Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
