dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Fuck appropriateness.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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