I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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