Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
