everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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