It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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