How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
