You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
