life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
