Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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