I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
