The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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