i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
