Kiss
Puke
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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