yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
