I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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