I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
